So I’m assuming that either your dating or in a relationship. Or maybe your not dating because you just went through a bad break up. If that is the case, then let me be the first one to tell you that you’ll be okay. If you want your ex back, it can happen if you allow it to happen naturally. Breakups can be hard and it hurts like a pain that won’t go away. Just take the break up as a learning experience either for getting your ex back or for your next relationship. But before that happens you may need to work on your self a little bit. Only when you become a more confident man in her eyes; you can win back her love or be a new love for someone else.
But anyway, this article is about some tips you may want to think about when dating and in a relationship, so here we go…
Live your life to the max and beyond! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. This is a very attractive attribute that women like.
Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you as man stand for. This will take you as far as you delve into the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help you be more centered and grounded while on your quest. When you present value you will attract value, simple…
Examine your relationship history. So here’s the thing, you need to determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want.
Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. Ok this can be a little confusing, I know. Chemistry is like you and girl can work together good on things. You can have good chemistry with a co-worker or business partner, but that doesn’t mean you should date this person. Compatibility means that both you and her like a lot of the same things and you too are emotionally attached as well. This part is very important because the emotional connection is what most if not all women want from a man. Not to say that you need to be crying and talking about your feelings, that is a turn-off. Just to be afraid to just talk to her in a confident way that shows her that you care and love her.
Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives. One of the biggest relationships sabotages is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship. Figure out if you are dateable and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness. Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you like your life to be.
Don’t stay in a dating relationship that is not working. If you feel that dating this particular person isn’t working then don’t stay in it for that sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting her feeling’s. This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served to improve your quality of life in a new direction. Learn to be assertive and direct with you needs and feelings. She won’t know if you don’t tell her and by doing this she will respect you more as a man.
Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy. Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiations are possible. There can be growth without healthy conflict; however, know the difference between that and when the relationship is really not a good fit for you.
Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Conquer your “anxieties” about taking initiative. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you are interested in. Remember the mantra: NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!
Face your fears of rejections like a man: A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with her projections and needs. Know that you are worthy and deserving; BECAUSE YOU ARE!!
Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive people who will affirm you and support you. Family and friends provide a much-needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single man.
Step 2: Communication
Guy’s, what is the problem with us when it comes to communicating? Now I’m not saying that we can’t or don’t have the capacity to do it, but it seems at times that when it is necessary we will often not to live up to the moment. Can you honestly say that a plan no matter what it is can be completed with bad communication or no communication? The truth is that the big plan you may have can and will fail. Men have this problem of not wanting help sometimes, “you need to get out of that type of thinking”. This goes true at work, your business ventures and relationships.
In relationships listen we need to listen way more and talk less. Only offer your advice and opinion when she is seeking it. To do this you must know your women, that means listen more, duh! Trust me, she will spill her guts if knows you are really listening to her.
At work, don’t be afraid to express your opinion when it’s necessary. Be respectful and honest, your boss will appreciate you a lot more. That doesn’t mean he or she will take what you said into account all the time, but as long as your voice is heard that’s all that matters. Politics in the workplace is very prominent, so sometimes you may have to eat “crow”.
As with your business, you may have people working for you. This is where your business will succeed or fail. The employees are the work horse’s and you are the one with the reins. Listen to their needs and issues. Always have an open door policy “be available”. A happy worker is a hard worker, which means your business will continue to grow and more revenue will come in. Is’n that the whole point of having a business in the first place? Retention is the key here, remember that…
Step 3: Networking
How big is your network of people? Who is your network of people? Do you even have a network of people to begin? These are the questions you should be asking yourself in order for you to be on that road to success.
So, the first place to start this process is obviously your current place of employment. If you have heard or know of someone at your job that is doing something close to what you are doing, then you should reach out to them.
Always keep your ears open for any opportunity, you’ll be surprised at what you may hear. Next is the social media platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter. LinkedIn is basically for business professionals and should be your first choice. Facebook with all its drama and hype, it’s actually a good platform to get attention to yourself. Of course, I mean the business side of it. Twitter is a good and quick way to broadcast your ideas and business ventures. All of these platforms have peak hours so keep that in mind.
BOLO(Be On The Look Out) for my ebook for the rest of the steps
Step 1: Motivation
You must have motivation first and before any idea or plan can form. You have to know what motivates you. In order to find what motivates you, it’s a good idea to just start writing any and all ideas that come to you.
The more you write about whatever comes to mind the more your ideas will start to make sense to you. Sooner or later motivation will begin to form big ideas or small ideas. The size of the idea doesn’t matter at this point, nor will it ever will.
My philosophy is to try to think big all the time because planning it will be more rewarding at the end.
It will never be easy but it should be fun…
Stay tuned for the next step on: COMMUNICATION (work, business and relationships)
Why do you want to retire early? Does this make sense to you at this point in your life? Men tend to have this thinking that they would love to stop working for someone at some point in their life. The question is, what are you doing in order to achieve that dream. Because as it stands right now, it is a dream. Now, there is nothing wrong with having a dream to the something that will make you happy, but what’s your motivation.
Sites like Forbes and The Wall Street Journal can teach a lot of things in order to accomplish this goal. So let’s say you are a 30 something guy and you are pretty much fed up with what you are doing now. Do you have a plan of attack that will catapult you to that thing you want so badly?
The first we have to make sure is if you are ready to take on that challenge. This also means that you must look deep within yourself first. How mentally prepared are you? For me I’ve been singing that song for a long time, but I always found out that I never really prepared myself for what I really wanted. I invested more money in this type plan than actually being sure that this is what I wanted to do.
I don’t want you guy’s to make the same mistake that I did. Just think, if you could do what you really love and make money from it too, would you really be retired? Of course not, Warren Buffett, Bill Gates Oprah could have retired years ago if they wanted too. But they don’t because they love what they do. So don’t get caught up in this idea that retiring early is the dream, no you need to search out the best in you as a man first. Once you find that one thing because all you need is one, then you can take off like a rocket!!!
Yes, just like the title says, I have fear. Fear is something that can either make you a coward or give you courage. For me, it has made me a coward for years in all parts of my life since I can remember. Regret has only made that fear more powerful, so has procrastinating and let’s not forget laziness. I have been all three of these negative acts of emotion that have defeated me countless of times. My father died when I was just a teenager from a heart attack, I didn’t graduate high school so I had to get a GED. I then went to college online for a number of years and accumulated over 100k in student loan debt. I got married young to someone I really didn’t love but had a child anyway by her.
There was a point in my life that I could only hold a job for 6 months at the most. I rarely held a job for a year or more. I wasted so much of my own money trying to figure out ways to make more money and not work for someone else. Know, I want you to understand something about me. I really hate working for someone else and answering to someone else as it relates to a job. I know what you are saying, “well Reginald everyone feels that way”. Well, that’s not entirely true because some people love going to work every day. Then there are some people that love what they do but hate doing it for someone else. There are two types of people in this world, the first type of person, is the one that plays it safe by having a job to go to with benefits. This person lets call him Eric looks forward to retiring one day from his job with full benefits. Eric doesn’t take to many risks in life because he really doesn’t need to. Eric reports to work and his boss tells him what needs to be done today. Eric does what he is told but there are times hen Eric wishes he could just have his own business and do the same thing. Eric thinks about it from time to time but he lets fear take over that idea/dream. The fear inside Eric is strong that he would rather keep working for the rest of his life for someone, rather than take a chance by risking everything to start his own business.
The next type of person is a risk taker and dreamer lets call him Chris. Chris really doesn’t care too much about his job because he wants to work for himself one day. The problem is that Chris doesn’t know how to do it nor does he really know what he wants to do. Chris has the passion but doesn’t have the path. And you have to have both in order to accomplish your dreams. Fear has prevented Chris from finding that path because he has yet attempted to start it. Once he figures out that he just needs to place one foot on the path, it will pave its own way.
Fear gave me the courage to write this article because I want you guys to understand that I know how you feel and what you are going through. But I want to let you know that it’s okay to have fear but it’s not okay to be scared. When you are scared you are defeated don’t let that happen to you. Pursue your dreams, conquer your fears and I will meet you on the other side with open arms.