So I’m assuming that either your dating or in a relationship. Or maybe your not dating because you just went through a bad break up. If that is the case, then let me be the first one to tell you that you’ll be okay. If you want your ex back, it can happen if you allow it to happen naturally. Breakups can be hard and it hurts like a pain that won’t go away. Just take the break up as a learning experience either for getting your ex back or for your next relationship. But before that happens you may need to work on your self a little bit. Only when you become a more confident man in her eyes; you can win back her love or be a new love for someone else.
But anyway, this article is about some tips you may want to think about when dating and in a relationship, so here we go…
Live your life to the max and beyond! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. This is a very attractive attribute that women like.
Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you as man stand for. This will take you as far as you delve into the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help you be more centered and grounded while on your quest. When you present value you will attract value, simple…
Examine your relationship history. So here’s the thing, you need to determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want.
Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. Ok this can be a little confusing, I know. Chemistry is like you and girl can work together good on things. You can have good chemistry with a co-worker or business partner, but that doesn’t mean you should date this person. Compatibility means that both you and her like a lot of the same things and you too are emotionally attached as well. This part is very important because the emotional connection is what most if not all women want from a man. Not to say that you need to be crying and talking about your feelings, that is a turn-off. Just to be afraid to just talk to her in a confident way that shows her that you care and love her.
Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives. One of the biggest relationships sabotages is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship. Figure out if you are dateable and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness. Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you like your life to be.
Don’t stay in a dating relationship that is not working. If you feel that dating this particular person isn’t working then don’t stay in it for that sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting her feeling’s. This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served to improve your quality of life in a new direction. Learn to be assertive and direct with you needs and feelings. She won’t know if you don’t tell her and by doing this she will respect you more as a man.
Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy. Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiations are possible. There can be growth without healthy conflict; however, know the difference between that and when the relationship is really not a good fit for you.
Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Conquer your “anxieties” about taking initiative. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you are interested in. Remember the mantra: NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!
Face your fears of rejections like a man: A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with her projections and needs. Know that you are worthy and deserving; BECAUSE YOU ARE!!
Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive people who will affirm you and support you. Family and friends provide a much-needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single man.
Step 2: Communication
Guy’s, what is the problem with us when it comes to communicating? Now I’m not saying that we can’t or don’t have the capacity to do it, but it seems at times that when it is necessary we will often not to live up to the moment. Can you honestly say that a plan no matter what it is can be completed with bad communication or no communication? The truth is that the big plan you may have can and will fail. Men have this problem of not wanting help sometimes, “you need to get out of that type of thinking”. This goes true at work, your business ventures and relationships.
In relationships listen we need to listen way more and talk less. Only offer your advice and opinion when she is seeking it. To do this you must know your women, that means listen more, duh! Trust me, she will spill her guts if knows you are really listening to her.
At work, don’t be afraid to express your opinion when it’s necessary. Be respectful and honest, your boss will appreciate you a lot more. That doesn’t mean he or she will take what you said into account all the time, but as long as your voice is heard that’s all that matters. Politics in the workplace is very prominent, so sometimes you may have to eat “crow”.
As with your business, you may have people working for you. This is where your business will succeed or fail. The employees are the work horse’s and you are the one with the reins. Listen to their needs and issues. Always have an open door policy “be available”. A happy worker is a hard worker, which means your business will continue to grow and more revenue will come in. Is’n that the whole point of having a business in the first place? Retention is the key here, remember that…
Step 3: Networking
How big is your network of people? Who is your network of people? Do you even have a network of people to begin? These are the questions you should be asking yourself in order for you to be on that road to success.
So, the first place to start this process is obviously your current place of employment. If you have heard or know of someone at your job that is doing something close to what you are doing, then you should reach out to them.
Always keep your ears open for any opportunity, you’ll be surprised at what you may hear. Next is the social media platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter. LinkedIn is basically for business professionals and should be your first choice. Facebook with all its drama and hype, it’s actually a good platform to get attention to yourself. Of course, I mean the business side of it. Twitter is a good and quick way to broadcast your ideas and business ventures. All of these platforms have peak hours so keep that in mind.
BOLO(Be On The Look Out) for my ebook for the rest of the steps
Step 1: Motivation
You must have motivation first and before any idea or plan can form. You have to know what motivates you. In order to find what motivates you, it’s a good idea to just start writing any and all ideas that come to you.
The more you write about whatever comes to mind the more your ideas will start to make sense to you. Sooner or later motivation will begin to form big ideas or small ideas. The size of the idea doesn’t matter at this point, nor will it ever will.
My philosophy is to try to think big all the time because planning it will be more rewarding at the end.
It will never be easy but it should be fun…
Stay tuned for the next step on: COMMUNICATION (work, business and relationships)
Life is a fight of wills, a never-ending battle of good versus evil. Every day we wake up, we have to decide what we want to do today. Some of us have to get to work, while others don’t have a job to go to. Life is not full of fun and games, it’s a formidable foe that is relentless. Only the strong shall survive in this battle and the ones that don’t they loose hope. The fight that they once had is no longer there. When life deals a powerful blow it can take all the fight out of a person. These are the people you see every day, like a cancer victim. Yes, it’s a terrible thing to have such a disease but there countless of people that didn’t give in. They fought to the very end, some even defeated cancer. That’s the funny thing about life, it will throw all sorts of stuff your way. Drugs, alcohol, sex, money and death. Life has no mercy it will not stop, ever…
AND YOU SHOULD’NT STOP FIGHTING EITHER!!!!
When you are in the ring of life, which starts as soon as you are born there are so many challenges that lay ahead. But with every challenge, one must have motivation. Without motivation to face it, you will be defeated. So, what’s challenging you today? Really sit down and think about that for a moment. What’s stopping you from being the best thing since sliced bread? You may laugh and you should because laughter sends positive emotions to your sub-conscious and in turn relieves stress. But that’s a whole another topic. But yeah think about it. Not just pause for a moment, no…. because your brain is doing too much already. When your relaxed, calm, at ease with no distractions everything that wasn’t clear will be easier to attain.To me, boxing is more demanding physically than any other sport because a boxer has to train his entire body to lay punches and take them too. Not being good at football, baseball, basketball or hockey means that you will more than likely not make the team. Not being good at boxing will get you hurt because it’s a solo effort that puts you in that ring to battle..!!
That’s how you need to approach life and all obstacles that come your way. It’s just you, no one is there to back up and save you. Life has the prize belt and you are the contender. Nobody likes you, nobody is cheering for you, they want you to loose and loose bad. You must understand and retain this in your mind that even though you have people in your life that love and care for you; it is still your life. Yes, the support of loved ones helps a lot but what if you didn’t have that. There are way more people against you than you realize it. They want to see you fail in every aspect of life, so they can say “see I told you so”. See, life is the champion and it has so many tactics to hit you with that you can never be prepared. And I mean never…
This is where you come with your counter attack and the never quit attitude.
Life hits you with an uppercut, you fall on your ass. Now you’re dazed confused laying on the ground, its count time. Will you get up, can you get up? YES…. you can get up, life is shocked it just laid its signature move to K.O. you. But you got back on your foot, you kept pushing, you didn’t stop. You took blow after blow after blow from life’s arsenal of weapons. You want that prize belt, you want to knock down life this time because NOW you truly believe you can…
This is how you must approach everything that comes your way.
Greatness is within you!!!